Leggo your Ego!

What is greater than us? Well, that would depend on who you ask. A priest would argue god, an atheist perhaps integrity, and a mother love for her children. I believe regardless of what name you choose to call it, the emotions and feelings that an egotistical human being cannot inspire in himself can be seen as the greater meaning that connects us all. In Into the Wild (2008), Ron, an old vet the main character Chris meets, tells him, "I know you got your problems with the church, too, but there's some kind of bigger thing that we can all appreciate. And it sounds like you don't mind calling it God. And when you forgive, you love."

Ron and Chris atop the desert hill.

This film inspires not only a lack of ego, but an honest relationship with nature. Gentleness, acceptance, and appreciation are three qualities that a lack of ego allows for. Through several writings and personal experience, I believe I can vouch for the calm, fulfilling feelings a lack of ego and connection with a greater meaning (through nature or self), can provide.

Nature seems to be the closest connection to god we have. Perhaps Carlyle put it best when he wrote, "what is nature? ha! why do I not name thee GOD? Art thou not the living garment of god?"(carlyle,175)


An interesting image suggesting the fluidity of god and nature.

The beauty of controlled chaos and diversity is all around us. Betwixt the everyday commotion and danger of the wild, there is a strange serenity that allows us to realize that there is so much more to our existences than ourselves. Bob Dylan sings, "the water smooth ran like a hymn/and like a harp did hum"(dylan, 176), indicating that the music of nature is something more powerful than what we can create. When you no longer wish to create and labor, you can take refuge in nature, "lay down the song you strum,/and rest yourself 'neath the strength of strings/no voice can hope to hum"(dylan, 177). Unfortunately, many people act oppositely. Under stress, they fight nature and create the unnatural.


A beautiful image correlating nature and music.

Consumerism and the never-satisfied customer leads to a situation where "the pool of tears beneath my feet flood every newborn seed"(dylan, 177). Ego and self-obsession here only cause destruction.

Caring for our environment and giving in to Earth's natural cycle is one way of letting go of our own comfort zone and self-obsession, however we can also do so simply in our daily actions and aspirations. Our characteristics while in pursuit of some end are great indicators of our Ego or lack thereof. It is only natural to get caught up in learning a skill or achieving a goal, and quickly finding another to pursue because "the fulfillment of desire mean[s] spiritual death" (buckley, 162). So my question is, why rush?

Recently I started skateboarding. Now, you may ask, "isn't that a thirteen-year-old-boy's sport?" and you are absolutely right.


Children skaters are not at all an uncommon sight.

It's a thirteen-year-old boy's sport because all young kids start skateboarding and are concerned only with becoming amazing as soon as possible. They learn their tricks and abandon the sport after a few years because they never took the time to stop and savor the process of learning. At the skatepark I often feel wise. This false feeling probably stems from the fact that I take joy in the fact that I know nothing at all about skateboarding. I have a lot to learn, and "what I aspired to be,/and [am] not, comforts me"(browning, 162). I take my time learning new tricks and enjoy the fact that there is so much left to practice. Patience over mindless self-improvement is a very important quality.

Love and the ability to feel compassion is another quality that allows one to defeat their ego. This requires the use of the sympathetic imagination. Recently, I discovered that I was mildly bipolar. The thought of medication upset me, because although I did experience days of paralyzing, random, misery, I truly appreciated the days where I was boundlessly happy. On good days, I am inspired by anything from a rain drop on a blade of grass to a tear of joy on an eyelash. The arrangement of buildings, the shapes, the beauty of the sky and the individuality of so many people with so many stories winds me up to produce expressive art and writing. The production of this art and writing is fulfilling to me because it gives me the opportunity to create something that can be of value to others. After all, I believe it is important that "human impulse be directed towards some nobler end than self-realization"(buckley, 163). Bipolar medication would limit my emotional outbursts and my ability to use my overactive sympathetic imagination. If you rob a person of their imagination, personality, and sympathetic imagination, are they even the same person anymore? I refuse to take pills for a condition society has deemed incorrect. "I will not shut me from my kind/and less i stiffen into stone/i will not eat my heart alone/or feed with sighs a passing wind"(tennyson, 161). I will not lose my ability to "only connect" with all that is around me and truly experience the world from multiple perspectives. Love and creativity are of utmost importance, because I believe the sympathetic imagination wards off arrogance.

Arrogance is a definite indication of a strong ego and a lack of connection with a greater idea. In "My Last Dutchess", the man speaks arrogantly and possessively of
his last Dutchess. "I call that piece a wonder now"(browning, 180), he states. However, he does not do so out of love for her, but simply out of pride of ownership. I can identify with the Dutchess because I am very easily amazed or made happy and she was described as having "a heart... too easily impressed"(browning, 180). This quality is generally a very good one to have, but he frowned upon it because he felt as if she should only praise him. His ego empowered him to wrongly supposed that "she ranked/[his] gift of a nine-hundred-years-old name with anybody's gift"(browning, 180). Here we can see his self-consumptions has shut the possibility of love from his life.


Robert Browning himself.