Motives, Dissected

As part of my P4, I want to help young struggling artists. I believe this is for a few main reasons. Firstly, because I can identify with them. Secondly because it will directly benefit my sister, and thirdly because it will directly benefit me. Dass splits the reasoning behind helping up into compensation, low self-esteem, atonement, power, helplessness, and loneliness. My case, as previously established was "a deeper sense of helplessness; we don't have to face our own quite so much when we're busy treating someone else's"(Dass, 126). However, since Project ReRen has long been a dream of mine, I know that this is not the motive behind it. We can explore the different motives I may have by following my framework and justifying it through Dass' ideas.

An old sketch I did. The text reads "I fed a starving artist!" I sold quite a few as buttons. Trendy.

Having had to choose medicine over the arts, it makes sense that I would want to prevent others from having to make the same decision. Perhaps I do this because it's my way of contributing to art when I can't do it myself. Dass notes that there is often "guilt to assuage"(Dass, 126).

Follow your dreams, or encourage others to if you can't follow your own.

Perhaps it is my way of apologizing to myself and following my parents' dreams instead. Through these young artists, I can live what I don't plan to as of now.
Direct benefit to my sister is another key reason for me to do what I do. I want to be able to help her, and this is seems like a great way to get her publicity. Obviously, she'd be one of the artists on the forefronts of this endeavor. Helping her out "can provide a needed sense of power or respectability"(Dass, 126). Perhaps I want to feel as if I were useful to her, as well as others. I want to have the satisfaction that I did indeed do something right.
Finally, I am obviously going to benefit personally from starting an organization such as this. It would perk up any resume. As Dass says, "Need Praise? Help out"(Dass, 126). I will have an immense amount of publicity and be petted by all kinds of people for my "selfless" endeavors. I will have the opportunity to be a spokesperson and hear myself speak.

Public speaking is one of my greatest passions.

Underneath all of these motives, however, there must lie something else. In the blind woman's story, she is proud to be "someone who had seen a need and done something about it"(Dass, 144). I believe that's what drives me as well. I've found an injustice and decided to do something about it. Something that will continue long after I'm gone and forgotten.

Dass moves on to talk about the intricate details of actually helping and being a listener. I find this very applicable. Just last night I got in a big argument with a friend. We entered the argument to prove "who was always right". This spelled out disaster from the start. Neither of us really won and we ended up personally attacking each other. One of my favorite Dass quotes exemplifies the attitudes we should enter any fruitful discussion with; "When we're free of self-righteousness, grounded in a kind of inner clarity and quiet self-assurance, we're less likely to rush in simply to prove our point- only to contribute to a chain of reactiveness in which the issue gets lost and the polarization makes it harder even to start over again. We just don't get sucked in"(Dass, 166). This idea forces me to recall debate tournaments and how little was actually achieved in debate.

The democratic debates are full of contradictions and mildly amusing in my eyes.

Watching the presidential debates, I wonder how much mature and fruitful they would be if the candidates followed Dass' simple rules. Since I quit debate, I've begun to opt not to prove a point in any discussion, but to listen and simply respond with thoughts for the speaker to entertain. Since I've shed my self-righteousness, I've learned so much and grown as a person. In addition, my words have much more meaning when I speak.
At the same time, I feel as if conflict is something positive. A friendship only becomes stronger after a fight. This is because it allows you to see the true nature of an individual and accept them for all their flaws. It also gives you the opportunity to change a person. The trick with conflict is that "you don't push against it; you move to work with it"(Dass, 166).

Conflicts strengthen good relationships of all kinds, from friends to lovers.

Working with it can be very tricky, however. Especially because we naturally have egos, we have to make sure "not to force any change of heart; hearts usually don't change under external pressure"(Dass, 166), we just need to say what we think is important in a non-offensive manner and "win a little space for our message to work on its own"(Dass, 166). The best way to deal with an argumentative person is with passiveness. I approached my friend again today and told him we both needed a little work on our communication skills. He insisted it was completely my fault, and I did not argue because I saw no point in it. But I did say again that we both needed to work on our communication skills offhandedly, and I hope the message will sink in for him at some level. Right now he sees my flaw as a responsibility and ignores the possibility of his own. Dass notes that "we may feel as if we've got to set people straight"(Dass, 194), and yet we're blind to our own needs. I believe that the key is patience and gentleness. Much like all of Dass' ideas, being rash and bold are not going to help me at all. I know I need to change, but I know I need to help as well. And this aid is something I will do simply because I am truly passionate about my friend and I want to see him progress. It's a good feeling. I think it is because I am finally able to "simply heed the call of that natural caring impulse within, and follow it where it leads us"(Dass, 238).